JOSH COLLINS

Here is a form where you can contact me with million-pound job offers, birthday invites, and miscellaneous fan mail.

Alternatively, you can whisper your message into the wind at midnight.

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Reviews

Rating: 4 out of 5.

He’s very good and you should definitely hire him and pay him loads of money. Do you want me to write any more, Josh? Honestly, I’m not sure I’m comfortable faking a review like this. You’re not actually going to use it, are you?

— My Mum

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Meow meow meow, meow meow. Meow: meow, meow, meow, meow, meow meow. Meow meow meow… meow!

— My Cat